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The underwear department was very quiet, no customers in so this was my ideal chance as I’d never bought anything like this before. The assistant was about Mum’s age and build too so I felt as comfortable as possibly could do in this situation so began browsing for the garments I had in mind for Mum. I picked a black suspender belt that was a traditional look with large stocking clips (I’ll explain why it need to be large clips later), a couple of pairs of black seamed stockings and then noticed packs of suspender tights which gave me other ideas so picked a couple of packs of these too. I then checked no one was around so went over to the mature assistant to pay. ‘Hello’ she said ‘ have you been ok with choosing the sizes?’ ‘Erm well I’m not too sure’ I replied ‘I’ve had to guess really’. ‘What size is the lady?’ the assistant asked (whose name badge stated she was called Barbara). ‘I’m not really sure.....she’s about your size and height’ I replied going red in the face at the same. Now any sane man knows that you never get into a fight naked because it leaves you open to a world of hurt. The first guy to reach me found this out as I arrested his forward momentum with a firm kick to the nuts with my weight behind it. He dropped like a stone and screamed silently into the carpet. The other guy seemed to have some martial arts training but he could not counter a home run hit to his ribs with my aluminium bat. He too dropped to the carpet as the other one arrived with the rest of the guys in attendance. The ensuing scuffle saw me with a dislocated shoulder and a few loose teeth but the other guys did not fare so well. Let's just leave it at that. I left her apartment a blood covered mess with Michelle and Rochelle trying their combined best to revive the guys who were all unconscious.The first stop I made was to an emergency clinic where I explained that I had been mugged when they saw my injury and the blood all over me. I declined their advice to report it to the.
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